Covid Diary Day 3: Lighting a Candle for Pearl Harbor

It is Week 4 of "shelter-in-place (SIP)" order in the Bay Area.  The surgeon general has asked the country to brace for the "Coronavirus Pearl Harbor moment" this week and next. The White House has reluctantly asked people to wear home-made, cloth face-masks while venturing out - leaving the surgical grade masks for healthcare workers. Most of the US has finally caught up with the importance of social distancing by now but still some states are in complete denial calling the coronvirus pandemic a democratic plot to win the upcoming elections. May their God bless them or their economy save them! Ignorance indeed is bliss.

Although some countries have managed to slow down the infection rates i.e. flatten the curve i.e. move towards blue curve rather than red (pic below) to avoid healthcare system to become overwhelmed, we don't know what will happen in next few months - we are still collecting data. It is Week 2 of India's 21-day nationwide lock-down.

So,
.......we are in deep water.
...............and most of us are no scuba divers.
................................ and don't want to be - ever.

I really wanted to keep this entry light since there is some silver lining to it like getting multiple handmade gifts and "I love you, mom" notes with occasional nasty letter about my meanness in one day. Multiple conversations with family and friends who I never I get time to connect with otherwise....but the net negative is so high that I gave up.

When I see a garbage man, mail man or a grocery store worker, I cannot help but wonder - why is my life more precious than his/hers? Here I am cleaning and disinfecting every grocery item/mail before bringing it in the house while these people are going about their jobs business as usual - most of them without any protective gear. I don't know how else will we survive otherwise but definitely it is a privilege to be able to shelter-in-place. I don't know how many people fall under "essential business" and need to go to work - 100,00s, millions? The answer depends on the city:  https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2020/national/coronavirus-esssential-businesses/       
San Francisco cannot survive without bike stores and marijuana, Chicago needs marijuana, liquor and guns and Hartford needs its dentists, Smile! :-)

Even worse, I don't know how else we can do it - have millions stay indoors for weeks at a stretch without having 100,000s go to work.  Prime Minister of India openly acknowledged this and apologized, especially to poor people in India who are impacted the most.

It was interesting to observe the cultural contrasts this week where both India and US warned the people to prepare for the dark period.  US remained politically divided and failed to bring the nation together even for basic social distancing. The PM of India, on the other hand, with his reality TV-like appeal to turn off the lights at 9pm for 9mins and light a candle to show nation's collective resolve and solidarity against coronavirus managed to unite the deeply politically divided nation for this cause.  UK was not too far behind. I really liked Queen Elizabeth's speech on coronvirus. In addition to the set purpose of rallying around the spirits of British people, it had a fairly universal appeal. Sort of like the Queen's version of "Keep Calm and Carry On".


Although it seems absurd and at times impossible to do office work at 100%, house work at 100% and child care at100% in a given day- it is important to remember that we are still the "privileged SIP"  who can sip a cup of tea or glass of wine while doing it when many others cannot.

• Sure,  I can listen to Gangnam Style or Who Let the Dogs Out on repeat at all meal times i.e roughly 60 times a day. Who says these songs can't be inked deep into my psyche forever? 
• Sure, I can see a classroom worth of art supplies dwindle in a day - I have a budding artist at home!
• Sure, you need me to complete the report by Friday - I can do it. Wait, what project are we talking about again?
• Sure, I can make homemade masks for the whole family following CDC guidelines. Google - sewing for Dummies!
• Sure, I can find time to workout every day. Zoom into my body fat, please! 
• Sure, I can stay sane without going out of the house for days at a stretch. Would be a good test to see if I have lost my immunity completely to those usual environmental triggers! 

The visceral mess remains. Deep sadness for the loss of beloved world and some beloved people recently. Loss of meaning in daily activities as the collective dream of humanity is on a pause. How it unfolds depends on what we do in the next few days and how we un-pause it.

My situation is probably still better than celebrities who are desperately trying to hold on to their identities on Instagram and trying to entertain people from their living rooms or backyards by digging out old photos or posting their food pics - just like ordinary people! :)


I hope in the years to come everyone will be able to take pride in how they responded to this challenge.  
       ....And though self-isolating may at times be hard, many people of all faiths and of none are discovering that it presents an opportunity to slow down, pause and reflect in prayer or meditation.   
 - Queen Elizabeth II



THE END

p.s. “You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 

Covid Diary Day 2

It is Day 8 of school closures and Week 3 of me staying at home from work.

Things are getting grimmer since March 11 which is when the World Health Organization (WHO) declared coronavirus as a pandemic. As expected the number of infected is growing exponentially all over the world, number of deaths increasing too. More and more countries are in the lock-down, more and more governments are waking up to take actions like UK, Rwanda, South Africa. No country is spared.  We are climbing towards the peak so the worst is not over yet.

More and more warnings are being sent by health officials about the seriousness of this disease along with instructions for staying safe and creating safe environment for others. More political solidarity in response is needed along with more offensives measures such as testing every suspected case, isolating and caring for every confirmed case, and tracing and quarantining every close contact, prioritizing protecting health workers and effective therapeutics!
https://www.who.int/dg/speeches/detail/who-director-general-s-opening-remarks-at-the-media- briefing-on-covid-19---23-march-2020

Every social media and every personal message is about this as everyone is grappling to come to terms with it, wrap their heads around it and trying to find a stable ground!

Last week was a lot about calm resignation. It was very new. Everyone was still into "reacting/doing" mode here in the Bay Area. Getting groceries and supplies in order to be at home as a family all day- which for most families is not a norm. Who is going to work where? How are we setting up kids's schedules for the day? Do they have private spaces to call into school zooms? Do they have enough other activities to do including physical and social? Fairly divided calendars for chores such as cooking, cleaning, kids studies and play time. But women are on the front line in most cases - cooking/cleaning/office work/ kids's work/playtime.  In India, most people were still chilling - until the PM's speech along with the curfew and and clapping/banging woke them up from a false sense of security.

This week is different. We are at home for at least a week now and the visceral reactions are coming out.  I see them in me,  I see them in people I connect with. The actual feelings are all over - when is this coming to an end? what if it takes really long time? Am I going to lose job? What about kids's schools? I can't be a full-time parent+cook+cleaner+employee for too long. What about my family? My friends? Are things ever going to get back to old normal again? what about the 100s of healthcare workers everywhere? Are they going to be okay? God bless their souls ----all legit emotions, many rational  thoughts but too fast and too many.  Our brains are not used to handling so much uncertainty. We like control, or at least the feeling of control - to feel strong and grounded. We are not yet coping - we are just winging it. But maybe in the next few days, we will learn to calm down and cope more elegantly.

“It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.”  -- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

I have been somewhat lucky because I have been quarantined in my room since last week because of flu. YES, I got the flu in the midst of this (and was refused covid testing). So while I have been sleeping, medicating and trying to shrink away to not infect anything else, poor Abhi has been on the forefront of home, kid, his own work and a patient who he absolutely wants to stay in one room! But that means I have also had a lot more time to read every news, watch many videos and reply to every what's app message with no office work to ground me/distract - and it has made me a visceral mess. I mostly feel deeply sad and helpless about what's happening around me.

One video by a ER nurse in UK crying because after 48 hours of ER covid shift, she went to buy groceries only to find empty produce sections particularly hit hard. So I sent emails to all major grocery stores and Jeff Bezo requesting them to let all healthcare workers register with the stores and prioritize and home-deliver their groceries to them. Crazy times!

--- Can't wait to get back to work/house and feel useful again..

Covid Diary Day 1

It was not very hard to predict that it would come to this. Oh no, I don't mean the complete world shutdown due to coronavirus, no one could have predicted THAT!  But that shutdown leading me to start writing a blog again!!

One time I was fascinated by The Happiness Project book by Gretchen Rubin. When she recommended writing a  Covid journal to note our observations, experiences and feelings during this momentous time, I jumped on it. So here we are.

It is Day 3 of schools closed, and week 2 of my staying at home from work. It is surreal to say the least. The ever-buzzing, ever-busy world has come to a standstill. Air travel restricted, roads empty, office and school buildings deserted. Most community activity classes like gym, pools, dance are closed. Hardest of all, restaurants are closed. Essential for controlling community spread! Mixed feelings about that. At least allow home delivery, peeps. The grocery stores are out of stock for essentials.  Rows of empty shelves. Toilet paper is apparently the most coveted commodity!!


Asia, Australia, Europe, Americas.. all impacted. Governments scrambling to get their best public health act together. Travel to India restricted for European nationals. Countries that are worst hit so far are China, Italy and US!

Many new phrases like "social distancing", "shelter in place", "infection cluster", "community spread", "quarantine", "isolation" have cropped up.

Schools are starting distance learning through video classes. Sankhya's martial arts, guitar class and some of my yoga classes are already video streaming through zoom. SF Mayor announced that the schools may be closed till Fall.


A whole  new world.

So what am I feeling about all this? Overwhelmed - to say the least. Confused. Worried. Sad. Also happy for mother earth. She has been suffering a lot from exploitation. She will get some much needed respite from the chaos.

Hopeful. Hopeful that we will learn from this. Learn new ways to work, to study, to connect. We will learn to slow down. Anxiety-filled lives will calm down naturally. We will learn to live in harmony with ourselves and nature. 

ॐ  शान्ति शान्ति शान्ति !